another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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