i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
