Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
