You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
