i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
