I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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