She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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