Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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