Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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