I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Drunk is not a location!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I love you.
Bad choice
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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