Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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