Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
