Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
