Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
