Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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