I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it glows. i had to have it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
