There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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