Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
