maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
