your parents love me but you hate me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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