Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
