Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just invented taco cereal.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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