omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
