If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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