She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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