Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize