Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
