also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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