I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
