he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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