Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
