I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
