You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize