I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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