Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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