Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
