Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
