oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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