she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
