hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
