I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
