real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
