I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
