i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
