Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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