Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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