dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
