why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
