Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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