But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
