I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
