he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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