apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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