Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
