And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
