She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
