Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
