I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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