whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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